A few months ago, the brother of the owner of an Indian restaurant in a very wealthy town proposed marriage in exchange for papers. He suggested we have a proposal and a photographer. I felt that it was a wrong match because he told me I was ridiculous for first wanting to meet and like his brother. "You don't have to like him, just marry him," he said blithely dismissing my feelings.
Imimmediately it was a no.
This was a glimpse into my future. Men gaslighting me out of my needs, calling me silly for being my girl queen self. Nuh uh. No damn way I was gonna shackle myself to a man I didn't even like! In case the deal went awry for whatever reason, I needed to know that as a companion I could at least feel kindness towards him. That I was safe. That I could fall in love should I stay married to him. Anything below that would be the same enslavement, the same gilded cage, I was escaping from.